RELATIONSHIP 101

Relationship Reflections for the New Year

By Laura Lowe

We do not learn from experience, we learn from reflecting on experience.

Relationship Reflections

Relationship Reflections as a Couple can bring conscious awareness to your relationship; of where you have been, what’s important to you and what makes you happy.

It shows that you are not accepting the status quo and just muddling along from one year to the next. You are willing to continue to challenge yourselves to create a more rewarding and fulfilling relationship long-term.

I’m sure most of us feel ready to close the door on the past year and look to the New Year, but before you do, spend some time reflecting together. 

What happens when you don’t reflect on your relationship?

If you don’t practice Relationship Reflections, you will just keep moving, but it may not be in the direction you want, or worse – it may not be in the same direction.

As a result, you will just push through, muddle through your frustrations and repeat the same habits and behaviours.

Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, but expecting different results.

And yet, that’s what most people do in their relationships – continue on through life doing the same things and wondering why the passion has gone, or you aren’t on the same page any more.

What are the benefits of reflecting on your relationship?

There are so many benefits to Relationship Reflections, but ultimately it’s about awareness and understanding, which in turn brings improvement.

Reflective practice allows you to step back from the situation and the different perspective allows you to gain a new understanding of yourself and your Partner. 

Five ways to reflect on your relationship

This Relationship Reflections exercise is fun, connecting and insightful to do with your Partner. My recommendation is to snuggle up together one evening and take it turn to ask each other these six Relationship Reflections questions:

1) What are you most proud of last year?

2) What is your happiest moment of us from last year?

3) What’s the biggest thing we achieved or overcame as a Couple?

4) What’s the most important lesson you learned for our relationship?

5) Describe your year in three words.

6) Describe my year in three words.

To get the best out of this exercise, it’s important to be curious, but without judgement. Give each other the space and the respect to share your personal reflections. Recognise that this will look and feel different for each of you, but that’s a good thing, it gives you something to learn and explore.

And really think about your answers, dig deep, think back throughout the year and open up to each other.

What’s next?

Once you have spent time reflecting on the year that has just past, it’s then time to shift your focus to the year ahead of you. Check out my article Relationship Goal Setting for my guide to creating powerful goals both individually and as a Couple.

We do not learn from experience, we learn from reflecting on experience.